i need to live alone
Journal

Now I NEED To Live Alone

The last time, it was just a fascination. A desire to just know what it feels like to live alone. Now, it’s a need. I NEED to live alone because if I stay here….

Let’s take this morning for example. Morning devotion normally holds in my room. My mother would come and wake us up (my younger sister has her own room but she sleeps in mine. It’s a story for another day) and we would pray.

Today, I woke up very early and started working. So by the time she came in, I was already awake and busy. After prayers, I continued with what I was doing because I had a deadline to meet (actually, I have a deadline every day because there is a particular time by which all my work should be done.). My first morning chore is sweeping but it was drizzling so there was no way I could go and sweep. So I just continued.

But my mother called me. That I should go and buy gas.

Here’s the thing: this writing thing works with your mood. For me, at least. Honestly, there are times when you are most creative because your creative juices are flowing in abundance. That is when you can write thousands of words without even knowing it. Other times, however, you are just dry. Try as you may, nothing would flow. Then you would just be forcing things and end up writing rubbish.

So when I was asked to go and buy gas, I knew I was going to struggle to get that mood back. I was really sad. But it didn’t end there. People of God, I did house work till around 10 am!

At this point I was tired but that deadline was not going to meet itself. So I faced my computer. Unfortunately, I couldn’t do anything, just as I had feared. That is how I was forcing myself to type until I fell asleep.

I know we are all wired differently. This would not be a problem at all for some people but for me, it is a HUGE issue. There are times when I can only work at night. So I would stay awake all night working and sleep around 4:30 am or so. But I still have to wake up with everyone by 5:30 or 6 am and do morning chores. Then by the time I would now settle down to work, sleep will come and say “baby girl, you don know wah is goin on for the vanishing, eventuarry!” 😢😢 Besides, these people are my parents. As long as I am around, I must go on errands if I am asked to. Unless I want to be disrespectful which I do not plan to be at all.

Anyways after I woke up, around 12, I updated my Whatsapp status asking for anyone who knew housing agents around certain areas to holla. I got someone immediately who’s linked me with someone.

I’m going to check two houses tomorrow.

I am a Nigerian graduate documenting the perks and pains of being a graduate without long leg in Nigeria; while also contributing her quota to make the world a better place. Lets be friends on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. You'll find me there as Naijafreshgraduate.

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