Why 2 Of My Friends Are Not Doing Their Masters Anymore
May 26, 2019
I was worried and I told you guys about how I was feeling when two of my closest friends in school reached out to me almost around the same time last year that they wanted to do their masters. I felt like everyone was moving on. You know, growing; and I was stuck because I did not have the means to do it at the time.
Well, both of them are no longer doing it. The first one dropped the idea because she did not want her rich brother to sponsor it. Apparently, he has a way of biting you on the butt after helping you.
The second one told me that she was no longer pursuing it, after buying her registration form and everything, because… wait for it… her parents want her to get married first!
In her own words, “They said I should forget about it. That when they asked me to bring husband I refused!”
People of God, this is someone that is not even in any relationship! The smart and beautiful CEO of a small perfume company!
Whether she goes to school now or not, by next year she will be older. Besides, do her parents know if her husband is in that school? If going to school is how she was supposed to meet him?
I told her this and babe was just livid! She did not care about anything anymore. She said, “Leave them na. Na so me and them go dey this house. Dem never see anything!”
The story is not different from mine.
If you guys remember, my father said I am not supposed to do my masters until I am married. His reason was that a woman who has her Masters Degree would intimidate men and make them afraid of approaching her for marriage. And as a woman, what achievement do you have if you do not have a man you call husband, right? And do you want to become an old woman with no man to call her own? No husband and no children? You will go and do your masters in your husband’s house!
An now, my cousin finished serving in April. She has been actively searching for jobs and I send her links all the time. Last week, she called me, explaining that she got an unpaid internship position that will last 3 months but she does not have money to transport herself there. I asked if she had told her mom. She had. And guess what her mother told her: that if she does not marry Richard (one guy that wants to marry her that she does not like), she (my cousin’s mother) would “remove her hand” from my cousin’s matter.
I was shook, mehn!
This is sad. That in 2019, people still think like this. As a woman, your brain and all the amazing things it can do mean nothing if you are not bearing the name of a man that is not your father. All your achievements are not really anything if you do not have a marriage certificate. Just why?
I had resigned myself to my father’s words but not anymore. THANK GOD FOR MY MOTHER!
We will not be waiting to have the society’s oh-she-is-married approval before we blossom and bloom.
So if God allows me to be granted admission, somehow I will go to school. And I will marry when the husband comes along.
Till then, we are going to grow, people! We can only get better abeg!
I am a Nigerian graduate documenting the perks and pains of being a graduate without long leg in Nigeria; while also contributing her quota to make the world a better place. Lets be friends on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. You'll find me there as Naijafreshgraduate.