Graduates' RantBook

Salary: Dead on Arrival!

β€ŒBy Sunday, I would have been working for a month.

Sigh.

The first two weeks were slow. One day felt like two days and so two weeks seemed like a whole month. The third week, however, ran like a cheetah and before I knew it, it was Monday of the fourth week. What this means is that payday is close… Salary go soon show.

But I am not excited about that. Nope, not at all. This looks more like me right nowπŸ‘‡

Me right now, thinking of my ‘budget’

Let me see if I can make you understand.

First, my loafers are worn out.

And I mean beyond repairs. These are the only formal shoes I have (our dress code is corporate, except on sport’s day) and they no longer fit their job description. In fact, they make me look the opposite of corporate. To make matters worse, the openings pick up stones that make walking not only uncomfortable but painful. I’ve asked if the sole can be changed but they said its not possible. I would ignore this, but one day, I saw the eyes of the children in grade 5 constantly looking at the wide opening and it was so embarrassing, I quickly ended the class and left.

The shoe was not this bad when I started working, though. I guess the constant trekking weakened it faster. I have sha decided to buy a new one as soon as salary arrives. But I’m not going to buy those ajebutter shoes again. There is this shop I see close to the market where they sell okrika shoes. I’ll be getting one wear-till-you-tire shoe from there. I am budgeting at most 3k for it, but am hoping that it doesn’t even cost up to 2k.

Second, I am owing 8k.

Who is a choir member here? Don’t you just hate it when these people choose ridiculously expensive attires as uniform? Don’t you?

Sigh…

All the sisters in the choir were made to buy one hat like that. It went for 1k. Then another time, they asked us to sew blazers which cost for 2.5k (fabric + sewing). And then my charger went bad. I had to buy another one because the last one I bought at a cheap price didn’t last three months. The new one I just got went for 2k and is working perfectly so far. That’s how much? 5.5k right? The other 2.5k accumulated over time from the ones I casually collect from my mother for things like data. So there, I am owing 8k!

Third, I have to buy sports wear,

and this means trouser, top and shoes… the full kit. Now I’m not a sports person and would not do this if I had a choice, but all staff are required to dress very sporty on sports days. Initially, I wore my jeans and shirts with slippers (yes I know, it’s casual. I had to because I don’t have any sporty shoe), but we’ve been told that after the first salary, no one is expected to come to school in anything not sporty (as in fully sporty on sport’s days). So, this is a cup that cannot pass over me. And I don’t even know how much this is going to cost. I guess around 5k. πŸ˜‚

Fourth, I’ve been trapped.

A wedding is coming in November. It’s my sister’s in-law’s wedding. I was on my own and my sister just brought asoebi of 4k to me. I told her I can’t afford it right now and requested that she returns it but she ignored me. I’m glad the wedding is in November sha, since they did not ask me before bringing it, they should be ready to be owed. I’ll pay in November. 🀷

Fifth, I must pay tithes.

I must confess, I almost asked this one as a question. Anyway, I must pay. And that’s 2.5k.

Now let’s do the calculation:

3k+8k+5k+2.5k = 18.5k

How much is my salary?

25k

Ok

25k-18.5k = 6.5k

……….

Shey you people remember I didn’t even put data or our monthly shawarma?

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

I am a Nigerian graduate documenting the perks and pains of being a graduate without long leg in Nigeria while also contributing her quota to make the world a better place. Lets be friends on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. You'll find me there as Naijafreshgraduate.

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