Help! How Do I Talk About Sex With My Teenage Sister?

You guys, I need your help! I have this younger sister that I am 7 years older than. She is the one I spoke about here and here.

Most times, we are cool. Now that I’m a full time unemployed graduate and am always home, I’m like her daily diary where she offloads interesting events that happen to or around her in school, church or where ever else. I think I have a mental list of every boy she has ever crushed on, too. We share a passion for music and are constantly unconsciously determined to outdo each other. Don’t worry, it’s a healthy competition, but in all honesty, she is a better singer than I.

How do I talk about sex with my teenage sister?

Other times, however, we are at loggerheads, like two wives fighting for the attention of one husband. I’m older and I swear, I TRY to overlook some things she does but it’s hard because they seem deliberate. This teenager has hormones joking with her brain all the time, it’s so difficult not to be irritated. Whenever she does something so profoundly crazy, I try to imagine that she is my daughter so I calm down, because I don’t want to kill somebody’s child.

How do I talk about sex with my teenage sister?

Sigh. All I’m trying to say is, I have a younger sister, the only younger sister I have, who I am 7 years older than. Simple.

So yesterday, we were watching something on TV and this very, very sexual scene came up. Heck, they were having sex, very passionate and responsive sex. See, I am not going to be the foolish elder sister and think that she doesn’t know stuff about these things because she does. She is smart too, and more than once she has told me interesting stuff about her Biology classes. Besides, I’ve had some sensitive discussions with her before, coupled with the fact that I have no idea what secret things she might be discussing with friends or what she has seen. So I do know that she is not ignorant about what sex is. But…

How do I talk about sex with my teenage sister?

I could not help being uncomfortable watching that kind of stuff with her. It felt like I was validating whatever ideas such scenes might inspire in her. So I turned and looked at her, bending my head forward so that my imaginary glasses would give way for me to see her clearly, and shaking my head ever so slowly.

She got the message and began to laugh uncontrollably. Sigh.

It was so awkward. I know I am supposed to tell her something, but what do I say? I think I’ve given her the basic sex education before. Please, what would you say to a raging storm in form of a teenager if you found yourself in this kind of situation?


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