This year begins on an alien note for me. And this post is all over the place. Bear with me.
After the first few hours of the new year, with all the excitement and joy, I was plunged into a sea of wonder and uncertainty, just like it had been throughout the month of December. I had wondered every blessed day what I had achieved throughout the year.
I keep asking myself, what am I here for? Do I have a purpose? What is it? Or have I missed it somehow?
As I type this, I have just finished crying my eyes out and the veins on my head still hurt!
I guess I just had to let it out, all the frustration and anger. I needed to offload. I needed to relieve myself of the stress of too much thought. It’s crazy.
And Nigeria doesn’t help. I feel like I need to get away. So much that I spent gauge part of today going through TOEFL websites and scholarship offers. Because even if I do get admitted into any university abroad, I do not have any means of sponsoring myself. It’s crazy!
So now it’s a few months to passing out of NYSC and all I can think of is, what next? What am I going to do?
I mean, if I knew my purpose in life, it would be much easier to plan. But right now, I’ve got learning the guitar, taking writing classes, working on my weight and crushing hard on photography while wishing for a camera of my own on my plate.