Corpers' Lodge

So Far in Nassarawa: Settling Down

I have a lot I want to say. These are supposed to be six different posts, one for the last six days, but I’ll compress them into one:

1⃣ There’s something we Nigerians call long leg. It is a metaphor that simply means “the ability to make things happen in a faster, less stressful way, usually (but not always… or maybe always) at the detriment of others, with the help of highly placed officials known on personal basis” (NaijaFreshGraduate, 2017, para 2).

It is important to know this because my redeployment and journey to Nassarawa was founded, built, maintained and executed on this concept. My folks called in many favours to make sure I was posted where they wanted. It worked. But I feel like a hypocrite because I am one of those people who believe strongly in merit. My posting has nothing to do with merit, yes (I mean, people are not posted to thick villages because they’re not fit to work in big cities πŸ™„), but this issue is prevalent in many facets of the Nigerian society. Because I know someone who knows someone who knows the boss, I get the job even though I do not know the first thing about it or even qualify for it. It’s the reality we live in.

I just benefited massively from this, I’ve been posted to a very desirable area that happens to also be very close to home. In my case however, not meriting the thing is not the problem. The problem is that Nigeria has a problem and it has to be fixed.

2⃣ I’ve always had a thing for hotels. I’ve fancied spending some time there, being waited upon and having meals served as ordered, waking up to clean bedspreads every morning and just chilling in air conditioned rooms. So for the first time ever, I had my own hotel room… to myself. It was small but it was mine… πŸ˜‚. It had a single bed very close to the door.

There was a towel and a toilet paper on the bed.

A dust bin, reading table, a mini fridge and a television set were present. With a little support from my jungle boots.

I was not disappointed when I opened the fridge and found this:

There was a wardrobe just in front of the bathroom that had this posted on it:

Like I would steal a whole wardrobe.

Notice the slippers are mixed. I thought it was a mistake until I went to my parent’s room and found the same thing there. Talk about safety precautions πŸ˜‚

You see this toilet, it did some strong things to me the morning I checked out.

While I was having a bath, I decided to shit. It was so strong I had to use hot water (this is a life saving skill I hope to share here someday). When I was done, I flushed. The shit refused to go. They just sat there at the bottom of the toilet looking at me like rebellious teenagers. I allowed it till after I finished bathing and tried again. They did not budge. I finished dressing up and as I was about to leave I tried again. This time, I could feel the eyes of my own shit look at me like, “You never know anything”. I was ‘shook’ and scared. I just made sure I had taken all my things and forgotten nothing, just so I’m sure I do not have to come back to that hotel, ever again.

3⃣ As you know, I am now a government pikin serving in Nassarawa State. My new PPA is in New Karu. As I processed my documentation at the secretariat, I saw three of my university classmates. Woke girls, slay mamas in their league, the happening girls. Hahaha… this is going to be fun!

4⃣ While at the secretariat, I noticed something. The number of Corps members with cars in this place is overwhelming. And by cars, I do not mean motors o… I mean rides, vehicles that practically float on the road! There are also too many fine girls and fine boys. Too many. Everyone is so tush and woke (I just love that wordπŸ˜‚), I feel intimidated already. I think I have to sew another khaki. My hair and makeup game need a big touch too. I cannot come and be the only MaryAmaka here, Biko.

5⃣ I’m in my new home already. I arrived this evening. I’m staying with an aunt and so far, she’s been great. The house is a three bedroom flat. They have no kids so they stay in one room, their house girl stays in another one and I have the other.

My room is great. With peach and purple walls and a king-sized bed, I don’t think I have any problemπŸ˜‰.

6⃣ My PPA is five minutes away from the house. I will be teaching Literature. Last week my HOD asked me to come along with literature textbooks if I had any. I forgot to come along with any. But aren’t they supposed to give me some?

I called my principal to inform him that I would not be at work tomorrow because, CDS. He then asked to see me. He described his house to me and asked me to come over. This night? Ah! I do not want to go. He has been flashing me o… he is still flashing as I write this.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *