I can never say that I come from an unfortunate background. I had many opportunities I looked down upon but am only realising many would have given anything to get. I had a better childhood than many… not the best, but definitely what others would call heaven. Still, I made terrible choices. And I cannot stop asking myself why.
I just remembered something that happened in my first year in school. I was in a bad place, not because I was not given enough, but because I had been careless with it.
I had allowed myself to be so carried away by the new found freedom I was experiencing.
And it is funny because I did not have parents who locked their children up in a bid to protect them from the world. I had freedom. But somehow, I chose to stay inside. My siblings would go out to see the world, they would visit friends and have fun. I, on the other hand, would stay home in the comfort of a large novel or some funny movie or nothing at all. So you can imagine how I felt when it was all over and I realised it had been an overwhelming freedom which I decided to be irresponsible about that had got to me.
What I am saying is this, sometimes we do things that we have at one time or another condemned. We break all the promises we made to ourselves. Like me, you might never understand why. What is important is forgiving yourself after all is said and done.